Gia’s Perfect Latte (Part Seven)

It was my last day in London (last night) and what had happened really forced me to reevaluate everything all over again. I was all in until this morning. After seeing Saud last night it was almost impossible to think straight. That look in his eyes, reminded me of the amount of pain I might have caused him, caused us a long time ago. Something I might never be able to make better; not even with us being together. Despite all the pain; each of us had moved on and at one point in our lives thought that was the end of things. Little did we know that fate had something completely different hidden for us. Only to evolve at the worst time and place.

At least that was the situation on my end. I decided to go for a stroll and reevaluate everything. Why did I never end up with Saud? Would I even consider letting him back in my life; though he was never really in it to begin with. He always had a place in my heart; I would think of him from time to time and how my life would have been different if we actually had gotten married. Why am I even thinking about him? Yesterday; I had already made up my mind to give Mohammad a chance and listen to what he has to say before I leave.  For all I know Saud might already have someone in his life. This is insane.

The Old and The New? Well, I always loved Old Bond Street no matter how many fancy shops New Bond Street has to offer. Normally when I cannot make up my mind between two pairs of shoes, I just end up getting them both. What am I doing? Saud has not even come forward. Was this just my usual way of sabotaging anything good that might happen before it even starts. Have I developed a fear of the unknown that I am no longer willing to take risks. My hair hurts from all the thinking. I pull it back into a pony tail and twist it in a knot as I started walking faster in the direction of  a tiny cafe I have kept secret. One I go to when wanted to be all alone; without the fear of anyone I know ever walking into.

Coffee. Coffee is the answer. Isn’t a simple or rather not so simple quad extra hot; no foam; with soy latte what got me here in the first place. I walk into the cozy  cafe and call my sister to distract myself until I ordered my coffee. I was not listening to what she was saying although I was nodding as if she could see me. He seems sincere I think to myself and things must have happened for a reason – isn’t that what they always say. What are the odds; a cute guy who shares my addiction to coffee. I had to walk into his cafe from all the cafes and Starbucks(s) London has to offer. Not once, but several times. I will go on with my primary plan and ignore Saud’s existence. That was the conclusion I came up with after my second cup of coffee forty minutes later.

First I have to meet my mom I thought to myself as I walked back to my hotel. Then I will go meet him and tell him I am leaving. I have already made up my mind to roll with the punches.  I promised myself I would give him a chance to express himself and listen to what he suggests or proposes. I liked him enough and was willing to play it his way.  I was tired of always taking the lead. Which obviously has not worked in the past. I will listen to him without interrupting so the words I say will not influence what he was planning on saying. That is hoping I can keep my mouth shut.

To be continued…..

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~ by Purple Velvet on November 18, 2010.

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