TARGA

Targa…..

I am not talking about the retractable glass roof in the Porsche or Ferrari. Targa is my flamboyant/ gay friend. He resides on the West Coast and we had good times together 🙂 We still do, I just wish I would see more of him. I will not go into specifics about Targa because the name “Targa” will be used for every gay friend I have … which are many !!! I love Targa we share a lot about our daily life and family troubles.

Many thanks Targa for designing my blog page :*

I don’t know, when I first meet him. I was living somewhere on the Pacific. I approached him in the classroom to ask about notes for a previous class which I have missed -Yes I’ve been like that from way back! He looked Saudi but could easily be from any Khaleeji country or even Lebanese. He looked cute. It didn’t even cross my mind that he could be gay. Especially after learning he is Saudi. It sounds silly, it’s not like I expect gay guys to flaunt it even when they are restricted by culture or religion, I am just being honest with what I thought. Second off all, I couldn’t tell from just looking at him from across the room. Even after I spoke to him that once.

I said to myself maybe he is into European fashion/metro-sexual. That is after a while, when I started hearing stuff from classmates Khaleejis and non-Khaleejis alike. As long as he is a good person why does his sexuality matter. I don’t care to be honest. People around us would speculate and question. I was like why the hell do you care? Leave the guy alone. As we grew closer I meet some of his friends gay and straight. Saudi, American and Kuwaiti. One of the Khaleeji guys said: Hi Purple I’m gay. I was whoa!!! I’m Purple, I’m straight. He said I just didn’t want to blurt out something in front of you and see a shock on your pretty face. Now I can be me.

I spent a lot of time with my friends 3 girls and occasionally we would go out to this restaurant that taught salsa dancing. Targa would meet us after-wards for drinks/dessert. One of the girls was so obnoxious: Purple why don’t you just say that Targa is Gay. I would say: I don’t know for a fact he is. Is he leading you in a relation and you want to figure him out before it gets more complicated? Obnoxious: No. Me: I would only help you if that was the case, so back off !That was the total truth he never said it and I didn’t care enough to ask.
On the contrary, his friend would join us on our shopping sprees and give us an honest opinion without me questioning is he just telling me not to buy that because he doesn’t want me to look better than she does? I mean if he was a girl, that would be the case. Will I be shocked to see her wearing it a week later, and act as if she can’t recall it is the same dress I tried on and she hated. You see your self in the mirror … O my god that is horrible, just horrible… look at my love handles! One of the girls would insist you look fabulous. I am excluding the sales lady who’s best interest isn’t to make you look bad, it is the commission she can make. Does this scenario sound familiar? At the end of the day, his company regardless of the shopping tips I didn’t have to question, was never boring.

Targa was sharp and very hard working. He drank in front of me after taking permission . It was the first time, do you mind if I order a drink? He ordered a margarita with no salt ,while we were at a Mexican restaurant sharing appetizers and an avocado salad. I said: not at all, go ahead! I’ll have some with you…. giggle… I didn’t of course !!!!!! But I made it very clear that it is OK to be your self in front of me. I am very cool with anything. He told me on several occasions after that, he is in the mood to drink but never told me he was not straight. So you can drink but you can’t say it? In religion, aren’t they both forbidden? Has the screwed up society made it OK to drink regardless of the religion take on alcohol ?

I would show him my nails after having them done and he would flash his perfectly cut nails with a clear coat on top and say:I did them my self yesterday, while I was watching Sex And The City…..Yeah, NOT gay at all!!! Why did he never tell me honestly like his friend did? Was it that his uncle was my dad’s best friend? I never figured out the reason till this day. I might ask him one day.

He asked me if I wanted to meet him and his Kuwaiti friend visiting from Chicago for dinner. It was his birthday and mine was a day after. I apologized politely and told him I had other plans because my sister was in town. However, knowing I wouldn’t be able to make it to his dinner, I gave him a simple gesture at school which was a Montblanc key chain and wished him a happy birthday. It would surprise me that he would call and ask where we were going after school, then he wouldn’t join because his “Gay” friend was with us. Was he afraid that he would sell him out?

Some of these thoughts never crossed my mind back in the day. It is only now while looking back and gathering the bits and pieces that I think more and more and try to justify every single act.
I love you Targa for who you are. If you not telling me makes you more comfortable around me, than I will continue the act. I recently blurted out something that shows that I know he is gay for a fact, he didn’t comment.

I understand our religion, culture and both of us being Saudis might have made it harder for him to come out to me. To be honest, he doesn’t have to. He has no obligation what so ever to explain or point out anything to anyone, including me. I knew that, but him knowing who I was, how I think and where I grew up should’ve made it easy.

Still he kept quite…….

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~ by Purple Velvet on April 22, 2009.

One Response to “TARGA”

  1. […] tomorrow that will come between us and sunny Friday.  I wish I could fast forward through it.  Targa turns at me and asks “What crazy things have you done this year?”  Not thingS, only […]

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